sexual and porn addiction and compulsive Behavior patterns
By Talia Amour

As you know I offer sex coaching. There are a range of things that people come to a sex coach for. Sex coaching is a NON medical approach. It is an empowering process that offers sexual health information as well as coaching in a confidential, non judgmental atmosphere. We assess situations, help you clarify your goals and help you create action plans to achieve them. We do not diagnose and treat mental illness, we do not focus on the past or processing past emotions like a therapist would.

I have noticed a theme that many people have come to me with over the past few years and it seems even more prominent as of lately. I wanted to take a moment to share this with you and let you know that I have had a lot of experience around this topic and I am happy to be of service to anyone going through it or who has a partner going through it.

The topic is compulsive sexual behavior such as compulsive masturbation and over use of porn or acting out sexually. Some people refer to it as sex addiction or porn addiction. Addiction is the term therapy uses. Doctors are trained to diagnose and treat illness. ‘Addiction’ is the diagnosis they give you so they can send it to your insurance company and get paid for their services.

Coaches do not Medicalize the situation therefore we do not use or believe in the term ‘sex addiction’ or ‘porn addiction’. Our approach is that you are displaying compulsive behavior patterns or compulsive activities.

There are healthy ways to engage in sex, porn and masturbation. however if you are using this to avoid situations, avoid feelings or if it is causing you problems or negatively affecting your life then it needs to be addressed.

A lot of people ask me: how do you know if it’s a problem? Usually people that don’t have a problem, don’t wonder if they do. Only you can decide if it is a problem. There are some signs and questions to ask yourself to asses if your behavior is becoming an issue:

is your behavior negatively affecting your relationships with others? if so how is it negatively affecting your relationship with others? how you see others, feel about others, what you do to others? (specifically your partner or prospective partner)

Do you avoid interaction with people and/or no longer seek partner sexual activity and or connection I’m real life?

Are you having issues achieving orgasm without masturbation or without porn?

Do you have issues becoming aroused when you are not using porn?

are you choosing to masturbate instead of having sex with your partner?

Are you avoiding relationships because of your porn usage?

Do you experience guilt, shame or a feeling of disconnection or ‘let down’ after seeking out random/ anonymous sex or porn ?

are you experiencing erectile dysfunction with a partner but not when your watching porn

are you using as one night stands to avoid feelings or communication issues in your relationship?  

What negative consequences have you/do you experience due to your compulsive Behavior patterns?

If you have answered yes to many of these questions I’m happy to talk to you about coaching. We must first determine and clarify where you’re at; what’s not working for you. Then we can figure out what you would like to achieve and how to go about achieving it. Even if you are even questioning yourself, it may be helpful to talk to someone.
I have gone through trainings for life coaching sex coaching and I have experience with compulsive behaviors and Recovery. Sometimes within the coaching process issues arise from the past such as trauma abuse that have not been addressed. Coaching is not about processing Deep Emotions from past traumas, so there are times when I refer those specific issues out to a therapist. You can still continue the coaching process however deep-seated emotional traumas need to be processed by a therapist so that you can become present and focused on moving forward. Coaching acknowledges the past yet our goal is to create action plans to help you move forward and achieving your goals.

Many of the men I have worked with find success through coaching. All you need is the awareness, willingness and desire to achieve your goals. You are not broken, you do not have a disease! You are actually in a place of transformation and growth.

We all deserve to have a pleasurable, joy filled, loving, healthy sexual experience in this life.It is an honor to partner with you on this journey towards sexual health and fulfillment! 
img 3783 Sex and porn addiction or Compulsive behavior patterns??