What do you really desire??

Author: taliaamour
May 30, 2018

What do you really desire??

As many of you know I’ve had the privilege to work with thousands of people across the United States helping them to explore their own sexuality and reconnect with their authentic sexual selves. This is an interesting time to be alive in. There seems to be an awakening in regards to sexuality. At the same time because of this Awakening, we are getting a push back from old attitudes ideals and beliefs around sexuality.

Through my educational Journey and my hands on experience I have learned so much. Many of you that follow me know that I have completed a certification and sex coaching. Sex coaching is great because I got a full sexology background, in addition to updating the coaching skills I had already learned and previous certifications. I see the need for sex coaching is so great in this day. 

Working with men and women I have discovered that our cycles of sexual pleasure are more consistent than previously told. I’ve also discovered that men and women both want the same thing and relationships and sexual experiences. Unfortunately there’s still a huge disconnect between men and women and sexuality.

Growing up we’re taught consciously and unconsciously, different attitudes and values and beliefs around sexuality. Usually as we get older and get to know ourselves better we realize that the truth we have been told- it’s not really the truth at all. Herein lies the challenge. When what we have come to believe does not sit well with us and we start to desire something more something greater than what we had previously understood.

 It’s part of my calling to help people understand their own sexuality and experience themselves authentically, releasing any guilt shame or judgment on themselves as well as other people.

The more we get to know ourselves and have acceptance of ourselves the easier it is for us to accept and understand other people. 

I’ve been interviewing men between the ages of 28 and 45. It’s interesting that the older generation of men are battling ideas and beliefs around masculinity that the younger generation has not experienced. There are still common threads… masculinity has continued to be redefined over time. What it means to be a man depends on who you’re talking to. I think it’s time to move away from the idea of toxic masculinity and start to heal the Divine masculine. 

Men have feelings just like women do, it’s just that they have not been allowed to express and experience them as openly as women. Men and women both want the same thing from relationships and from sex. We all just want to be loved accepted for Who We Are without judgements. Man especially wants to be seen as confident and competent. 

Oftentimes our past experiences shape our ideas and beliefs around ourselves and we try so hard to adhere to standards. Over time we see that they are unrealistic for who we are and where we are in our lives.

Once we start letting go of some of these expectations of ourselves that are no longer consistent with who we are as a person, we start to come into acceptance of who we are and what we have to offer. The more authentic you can be with yourself the more authentic you can be with your partner. 

People grow and change over time. It’s so important to learn the communication skills to share what you’re going through with your partner. We need to get used to having relationship negotiations and conversations about sexuality. We need to dispel the false belief that how we are in our twenties is how we should be in our 40s or 50s. 

We all have something special to offer- our selves. 

Most of the time when people reach out for sex they’re not just trying to go through the motions. What they’re really searching for is a connection it’s an energetic exchange that occurs and those deeply intimate and erotic experiences. It’s a connection to someone else a connection to a feeling that is greater than us an energy that moves through us that is the be-all-end-all, some type of higher power or higher Consciousness that we experience through orgasmic energy Exchange. 

Take away the performance aspect of sexuality take the expectations out of your sexual experience. Focus on being in the moment with your partner feeling every touch, every movement, every body sensation. Allow that energy to build take it slow… stop rushing through.

 Often times we need to release control in order to gain it. What I mean by that is stop trying to plan out every single moment of your interaction, focusing only on an end result. stop going through the motions.Have fun, explore the energy of the moment and see where that takes you. 

Oftentimes you’ll end up with something better than you could have ever planned. It takes each person being themselves coming together to create something magical. 

Give yourself a break experience the pleasure of the moment look into your partner’s eyes and take a deep breath let go of your expectations and just be together.