Authentic Giving

Author: taliaamour
September 10, 2018

authentically giving 
I think it’s time we had a deeper conversation giving authentically. I often speak of this but realize I have not really dove in into the depths of what this means. 

I will use money as an example since most people understand the concept as it applies to money. I’ve been taught that there are three levels of giving:

compensatory

donation 

tithing 

Most of our world is based on compensatory giving. it’s the exchange that is clear cut and finite. I give you $5 for a sandwich, I pay $30 for a month of gym access….you get the idea.

Donation is about I will give you x amount of money to use for…feeding the homeless or the children’s medical center… it is the understanding that the money will go towards a certain cause but it does not have to say exactly what that money paid for…it’s a little more open ended.

Tithing is about giving usually to a spiritual source without the expectation of anything in return. There is no guarantee on what the money that you are giving is going to be used for, you are simply giving to show gratitude. 

When we think of this spiritual principle in relation to money it makes sense so now consider what happens when we apply this spiritual principle to our sex lives (and the rest of our lives for that matter) 

Applying this principle requires us to really examine our motives and our intentions for doing what we do. This can be a challenging process if you act on impulse and unconsciously based on past experiences and patterns of the past. (It’s recommended to work with a coach or talk with someone that has experience in this arena if you do not understand the concepts self examination.)

Resentments are formed when we give more than we are capable of, when we have expectations around what we are giving. Time, energy, gifts…. Usually the situation is that you are giving with the expectation of getting something in return or getting a certain response and your expectation is not met. 

Are you often disappointed? Then it’s time to examine your motives and intentions. 

You should never give anything that you cannot afford to give and I’m not just talking about money- I’m talking about energetically emotionally, physically and spiritually. 

Setting healthy boundaries for yourself and other people can be a tool used to prevent resentments and disappointment. Evaluate the situation are you comfortable saying yes even if you don’t get anything in return? or is this a situation with clear expectations there for a compensatory interaction is required?

 There are people who tend to be natural givers and this is okay however and that situation they often find themselves giving more than they can bear and attracting people that will just take take take and bulldoze them leaving them feeling like a victim. 

The reality is is you still played a part in that situation, yes the person may have been wrong for taking too much, however you must examine your part in the situation that you allow this to happen. People will treat you the way that you allow them to.

It’s like the saying never let anyone borrow more money than you can give away without getting it back; then if they pay you back good times but if they don’t pay you back you’re not going to be in a financial crisis yourself. 

Apply that principle to your emotional and energetic and spiritual lives as well as physical.

Apply this principle of authentic giving to the bedroom. We often do things with the expectation that we are pleasing our partners, the fact remains that you probably have not even ask your partner what they like or what pleases is them. Eventually you will sooner or later find out that these things you’ve been doing may not be having the effect that you want them to have- fake orgasms, avoiding sex all together, treating sex as a chore…

When you do finally have the conversation about why they don’t want to have sex with you ( side note most women would rather have no sex instead of having bad sex/sex when their needs are not met) at that point there will be a resentment for that person not telling you and you will be upset and disappointed….usually the reason why your partner didn’t tell you they didn’t like what you do or don’t do is because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings. 

When we acknowledge things simply as information not as a personal attack it opens the door for communication that is positive and beneficial. It is never too late to have conversations about what is pleasurable and for filling to you especially because this can change overtime.

There’s a time and a place for each level of giving just to make sure that you are aware of which level is appropriate and that you are aware of your motives and intentions in each situation. 

If you are not sure what type of situation you are entering into you need to find a way to have that conversation. It is important that everyone involved in the situation has a clear understanding of expectations and boundaries. You want to have consent and be in a mutually beneficial energetic exchange. Having these conversations allows you to decrease possibility miscommunications and invites pleasure and joy in! 

Now the flip side of authentic giving is authentic receiving. Can you allow yourself to experience pleasure without having the need to discount yourself, make it all about the other person?? You cannot authentically give if you cannot authentically receive for example can you simply take a compliment and just say thank you? When you discount someone’s authentic giving you are ultimately blocking the flow of abundance into your life and theirs. This actually sounds like a deep Topic in may require another blog post so it’s food for thought right now….
If you get a benefit from reading my blog or some other source consider making a tithing to them. This shows that you are grateful for the information that you are receiving. it’s also a form of authentically giving because there is no expectation of getting anything in return you are simply giving authentically to say thank you.  

If this Blog has benefited you in anyway and you would like to tithe you may send me a gift certificate gift card or simply send money to a friend on PayPal. holisticprogressions@yahoo.com

Want to connect with me in person?

I am based in Tampa 

my 2018 travel dates

Asheville NC 9/23-9/25

Knoxville TN 9/25-927

Cincinnati OH 9/27-9/30

Columbus OH 9/30-10/2

Cleveland OH 10/2-10/5

Pittsburgh PA 10/6-10/8

Philly 10/8-10/10

DC 10/10-10/14

img 5134 Authentic Giving

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