Is Managonomy natural?

Author: taliaamour
January 8, 2012

Is Monogamy Natural?

I have always thought that is was unnatural for humans to be monogamous their whole lives. I am not sure why it just seems unrealistic that one person is going to be our everything. all the time.

Sex by nature is erotic, raw and uninhibited. It is also kinda selfish too; we all want to feel the orgasmic waves washing through our bodies and souls.

In order to experience this natural bliss we also need intimacy. By nature intimacy is more giving and self less. It is the part of us that emotionally connects. Those deep conversations and day-to-day life are all based on intimacy and trust. If we have this we can then explore our uninhibited sexual selves.

Then why would we not be sexually exclusive to one partner over our lives? I think in our relationships intimacy and eroticism wax and wane. We do not always have the same sexual needs as our partners, all though they may be compatible. Then I think about our biological nature…hormones, unconscious responses …it is kind of not really up to us. All we can do is manage our natural reactions. Therefor we are making a choice to act or not.

For me, intimate connection is way more important in a relationship than only having an erotic connection. I would be more upset if my partner had an emotional connection with some one else rather than they just had sex with them.

Really the point has to do with honesty and trust. Getting honst with yourself so you can be honest with another. The challenge is that our society and culture emphasises only a few ways to experience sex/eroticism, intimacy and sexuality in general.so when my friend forwarded me this article the other day I thought I would post the link. It is a great article on why men cheat and women for that matter, we ar not so different ya know lol

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-men-need-to-cheat_b_1170015.html

 

 

 

 

One comment on “Is Managonomy natural?

  1. Interesting article and interesting commentary. Having had my 15 year streak of monogamy come to an end in the past year. I can’t say that I’ve ever viewed monogamy as a “socially compelled sexual incarceration that can lead to a life of anger and contempt”. I have never once felt bitter or trapped in a monogamous relationship. At worst, I felt the urge to explore and expand my horizons. While it took a while to balance that need with my current relationship, I believe I have finally found a way for them to coexist that has improved both worlds.

    One of the keys for me was to separate the intimate from the emotional. once I realized that I can be intimate without being a “soul-mate”, I was able to enjoy both relationships. I currently have an emotionally monogamous relationship (which is erotic and intimate), but I also enjoy polygamous intimate relationships (some of which are erotic at times). The balance was difficult to achieve and involved an interesting journey, but for now it seems to work.

    As to the selfish aspect of orgasm, I would suggest that it varies from person to person. For some, an erotic, uninhibited encounter is similar to self pleasure with the assistance of another warm body. Yes there are two of you, but the other party is there only for your own pleasure. For others, the ultimate pleasure comes from creating an environment where their partner can experience orgasm together with you. For me having two parties in paradise is far more enjoyable than being there alone.

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